


Desecrate

by Skull_Bearer



Category: Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Miscommunication, Paranoia, Post-Movie, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Symbiotic Relationship, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2020-01-11 00:22:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18418964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skull_Bearer/pseuds/Skull_Bearer
Summary: There is nothing closer than a symbiote bond. Nothing more open, more trusting. More vulnerable.





	Desecrate

**Author's Note:**

> This is a one shot, however I'm open to continuing it if people are interested.

Eddie’s head breaks the shimmering surface of the water. The air tastes of fire, of gasoline and melted plastic. His skin is raw with burns but that’s just- secondary, a sort of shadow-pain, lost in contrast to- everything else.

“Venom-“ He coughs, struggles to keep his head above the water. “Where-“

Them, falling. The screaming pain of the fire almost drowning out the splitting agony inside. Venom clinging to him, trying to slow their fall. The flames running over them, the cry inside his head as Venom burned-

**_Goodbye, Eddie._ **

NO.

His own scream torn away by the slipstream, Venom spilling out of his back- but painless, this time, a caress where every other separation had felt like broken glass scraped inside him-

Eddie gropes over his shoulders, and finds something- slick. Heavy and lifeless in his hands, Eddie pulls, and cries out as the frail connection snaps. His stomach heaves, but he’d lost his lunch that first time, back in the hospital.

Venom is limp, paper thin in his hands. He’d spread himself as wide as he could, trying to slow Eddie’s fall. Eddie kicks; treading water as he slowly pulls Venom closer. The fire has burned holes in him, like paper just before it catches. It’s painful to look at, and Eddie pushes as much of him underwater as he can, trying to keep his hands away from the horrible wounds.

“Come on-“ Eddie coughs. “I’m here-“

More and more of him, and the edges are starting to melt together, liquefy and Eddie manages a smile. “Yeah- that’s it-“ The handful he’s holding stiffens, thickens. Pulls together more solidly. Eddie lifts the handful to his cheek. “Come on-“

And Venom slips away inside him. It doesn’t- quite- hurt. It should, Venom is running over all the parts inside him left torn and ragged, but he’s so gentle. Like cool water over bruises and burns. Eddie chokes; the relief’s not going to last, but it feels so good he nearly slips under the water again.

 ** _…Eddie…_** It’s barely a whisper, but Eddie smiles. He rolls onto his back, and kicks them back to the shore.

He drags them up into the sand and slumps over, curled up in a ball against the cold, the fire. The sand rasps over his skin and Eddie looks down, half expecting to leave blood every time he moves. His clothes are in tatters, burned and slashed open down his chest where Riot’s blade had split him apart.

It hurts and- at the same time, it’s doesn’t _matter_. Not compared to the other pain.

That pain is burrowed so deep inside him; Eddie can feel it in his bones. Like the blade, over and over on the launch pad, in the hospital. No, not just split apart- _torn open_. Gaping wide to allow the screaminginside them, tracing over his stomach, squeezing his liver, probing inside his bladder and kidneys- all of him, laid wide for all of them to see. Eddie’s lungs _hurt_ , bruised from all the groping over him.

And Venom- it’s the same for him. Worse; maybe, because at least this is Eddie’s home. How much worse to be split open, every part of him exposed and mocked- and left out to burn in an alien world he didn’t understand.

 ** _…yes…_** Venom whispers, and Eddie can feel how much it’s costing him to speak. **_…hurt…_**

Eddie nods. He manages to sit up and hugs his knees. He’s _cold_. Not just on his skin but- inside. Like Riot had pulled him open and left the cold in to nest inside him, a breeze curling around his heart, freezing up his spine.

Riot. And- before, too. Eddie closes his eyes at the memory of the screaming. The howl of it rattling him open, snaking inside him little by little and he can’t _move_ ; it’s digging in, deeper and deeper and there’s nothing he can _do_ , nothing he can say or fight to stop it and it _hurts, it hurts-_

“I’m sorry.” Eddie whispers against his knees. “I tried, I-“

 ** _…no…_** he feels a gentle touch against his backbone, shivers and- God, how can his _bones_ hurt? **_…we couldn’t…_**

It doesn’t make it any better. Eddie closes his eyes, feels the burn of salt in his eyes. It isn’t seawater. His breath catches in his throat, shudders and oh, those _eyes_. Riot’s, boring into him. Drake and- God, even Annie, and Dan. Staring at him as he fell apart under the screaming, watching him helpless and in agony, watching the layers of him stripped away-

 ** _…please…_** it’s frail, exhausted. Venom’s hurting too, but it’s an old hurt. Riot’s claws digging into him, splaying him open. Mocking, laughing at his weakness, at how _easy_ it was to hurt him, for Riot to do everything he wanted-

Eddie looks up at the sparks still falling from the sky. Venom smiles against his ribcage, tired but real. Yeah. That one was dead. It doesn’t hurt any less but the world feels maybe a little safer than it did before.

The claws. The screaming on the launch pad.Dan’s finger on the button of the MRI. Pain and pain and pain and nothing- _nothing_  they can do about it. Helpless, opened up, all raw flesh and blood.

“Eddie?”

Eddie jumps. Between the smoke and early morning mist, and the tears in his eyes- it takes him a moment to focus. Then- oh no. No, please-

It’s Annie. She’s standing at the treeline, staring at them. She must have run. Eddie thinks blankly, in the only part of his mind not drowning in static. Run all the way from LIFE Foundation, he can see the broken branches behind her. It’s a long way, she’s out of breath. He’d run it himself, that first time, with Venom. But then, Annie didn’t have quite so far to run, not from the control room.

“You-“ his mouth is bone dry. “The noise-“

And Annie. Annie _smiles_. “You’re welcome.” Like she’d done something- great. Something Eddie should be thanking her for, not fighting the urge to empty his shrunken stomach all over her shoes.

Because that was _her_. Her hands scrabbling inside him, leaving dirty fingerprints all over him from the inside. Oh god- how much had she _seen?_ Seen him fall, crawl, shudder and try and be sick over and over and not bring anything else up. Seen Venom spilling helpless across the ground, burning in the toxic air.

“I saw-“ she breaks into the drowning whirlpool of _awful_ , and please- please _no._ “Venom. He- he’s gone, isn’t he?”

 ** _Yes_** , it’s shrill and desperate. Eddie nods furiously, hopes Annie can’t read the desperation in his eyes. _Please_. If she thinks that, she won’t- she can’t-

Because she _knows_. She knows and Dan knows, they saw what the screaming did to him, to Venom and they- then don’t _care._ They don’t understand. If they knew they’d-

They’d do it again.

Maybe not now. Maybe they’d say they wouldn’t but- they could. And he knows it's irrational but Eddie can feel their hands inside him, letting in the screaming and leaving them shivering and cold and- ruined from the inside out. Like all the filth in the world had rushed in when the scream had laid them open. Like they could scrub themselves over and over forever and never be clean again.

“Do- do you need help getting home?” Annie takes a step forwards, too. Her hand comes out, towards Eddie’s shoulder.

She’s going to _touch_ them.

Eddie recoils, pulling the tattered remains of his clothes around them, trying to put some- layers between them. God, he needs more- a coat, his leather jacket- he wants _Venom_ here, his bulk and strength and that feeling like nothing could hurt them-

**_…sorry…_ **

“Look, Eddie.” Annie glances around quickly. “We need to get out of here, we can go to the hospital-“

God, the hospital. The first time. He’d never _believed_ he could hurt so much. A thousand hands dragging him apart, peeling his ribs open, flaying off layer after layer of skin. Eddie hugs them, a shuddering apology. He shouldn’t have left Venom. If he hadn’t been _hurting_ so much, hadn’t just been staked open wide and bleeding- desperate to lash out at _anything_ , at anyone-

Eddie shakes his head. Whatever happened between them- it’s done. Venom saved his life in the fall, brought him back to life on the launchpad, killed Drake’s goons when they were about to shoot him. They hurt together, bled together; they’re not going to be apart again.

“Eddie?” Annie steps _closer_ , just inches away, Eddie wants to back away but there’s nowhere to go but back into the burning water. “We need to go. Even if you think Venom’s gone- we can check, I’ll call Dan.”

Venom latches onto his spine in a panic, trying to lash the threadbare remains of himself to every part of Eddie he can reach. Eddie manages to wrench himself upright, staggering back into the shallows. “No! I- he’s gone. He’s dead. I felt him die he burned in the fire he’s gone I swear he’s gone-“ his mouth keeps moving but Eddie’s no longer sure what’s coming out. Anything, just as long as Annie stays away, far away, and never comes near them again.

“You’re not well.“ She’s still coming closer. “Come on, Eddie, the car’s not far-“

“I’m going!” Eddie stumbles through the water, nearly falls. “I can get home- I’m okay-“

“You’re not.” Still close, so closer and Venom floods up through Eddie’s spinal cord, sliding into his mouth, over his teeth. If they need them, one last line of defense. “Eddie-“

“What do you care!” His voice is a little muddy from the lengthening teeth. “I’m the fuckup who screwed up your life! I did all this! I wrecked everything- you don’t have to care!”

“But-“ And oh finally, finally she stops.

Eddie takes a step back, two, three, faster. “Just- stay.” Begging. _Don’t come near us. Don’t touch us. You’ve hurt us so much and we can’t bear it any more._  “We’re okay, we’re okay.”

There’s so much hurt in her face, her eyes. She doesn’t understand, and the frail part of Eddie now swallowed in pain aches for her.

She saved them, she stopped Riot from devouring them and stopped Drake and saved the world and Eddie will never be able to explain that he’d have probably preferred to be eaten.

Venom is too exhausted to speak, nothing but weary agreement, and desperate gratefulness as they continue to back away and Annie doesn’t follow.

At last, she turns away and heads back towards the car, and they can finally turn their back on her and _run_.

They don’t manage more than a few feet before it’s too much- the beat of each footfall runs up inside their body and shakes all the tender, bleeding little places inside. Eddie stumbles and falls against a tree, half-sobbing. “Venom-“

But there’s nothing Venom can do. He’s trying to warm him from inside, soak through his tattered muscles to heal them and- he can’t. All of his strength- all of their strength- and there is nothing they could do. They are helpless to do anything but scream and hurt.

Eddie blinks back tears. He wants to go _home_. It’s still miles back to the bridge, and even more back to their flat and- oh fuck Drake’s people trashed the place and he doesn’t have the money to fix it and it’s all so much Eddie wants to collapse to the floor and _cry_ -

 ** _… can fix it…_** Venom rasps out. **_…go… get us home… we can…fix it…_**

He doesn’t really believe it, but he so desperately wants to. Eddie gets himself upright, and starts the long, long walk back to the bridge. If he can just- get them home. Just that, it’s massive, but it’s just- steps. One after the other, each one making the impossible distance just that infinitesimally smaller. A little more possible.

Annie’s car is gone by the time they reach the road. Eddie looks up and down just in case, half expecting it to come speeding out of the pre-dawn, Annie and Dan dragging them in and- and-

You could get the screaming from a phone, from a car radio. Hands holding him down to the car seat, forcing the vibrations of it inside them and- God, Eddie doesn’t think they’d survive it, not a fourth time; his body might just give up, cells bursting and shaking themselves to nothing. And the thought isn’t frightening, it’s a _relief_. Please, no more.

 ** _Please._** Venom whispers.

Eddie nods, looks back one more time, and starts their slow, exhausted progress over the bridge.

 

* * *

  

The sun has risen completely by the time they reach San Francisco proper, and his phone is vibrating over and over. Eddie looks down at it. There are maybe a half dozen calls from everyone else- police, press, even his old boss.

All the rest are from Annie.

He _can’t_.

“You liked her, didn’t you?” He whispers to Venom, as they shuffle along the sidewalk towards Tenderloin.

 ** _Yes._** Venom still sounds tired, but stronger. **_She is brave, and fierce, but we are hurt so badly_**.

“She didn’t know. She didn’t mean to.” Eddie presses a hand on a wall, bracing them up as he catches his breath.

**_Yes. It still hurts._ **

And that was the end of it, wasn’t it? It didn’t matter what happens after now, it will always come back down to that. They are hurt. Hurt in ways Eddie doesn’t have the _words_ to describe.

Eddie looks wearily across the road. Not far now. They should- get something to eat from Ms Chen’s first, Venom needs the food. The thought of eating make his stomach clench up, a knot of revulsion.

 ** _...should…_** Venom agrees miserably. **_… not hungry…_**

And how bad are they feeling for that to be the case? Eddie gives an exhausted smile, and continues the long, long walk home.

It’s a mark of how _awful_ they look that Ms Chen doesn’t even bother with snark. She looks up, pales and hurries around her counter. “Eddie!”

“I’m- okay.” She’s too close, hands out to steady him and she’s not Annie but right now Eddie doesn’t want _anyone_ to go near him. “Please-“

And Ms Chen, wonderful, wonderful Ms Chen, drops her hands at once and moves back as Eddie shuffles in, keeping a careful five feet away. Eddie meets her eyes, and gives her an exhausted nod.

“Is someone after you?” She’s frowning in concern, “I heard something happened in your apartment-“

Oh god but he can’t think about that right now. He really hopes Venom can fix the place.

**_…can…_ **

“It’s fine. I can- I’m okay.” Maybe if he keeps saying it, it might come true.

Ms Chen’s mouth pulls up, a twitch of pain. He looks at their tattered clothes. “Are you hurt?” Her voice is very soft. “Did someone hurt you?”

And- and oh but that- that _hurts_. Like a scalpel, sliding into the cracks the screaming had shattered through him and reminding him of how much _pain_ he’s still in, even under the exhaustion. And the kindness in her eyes, the worry that has him closing his own against the tears threatening to well up. “I’m-“ and he can’t finish the lie. Turns away. “I can’t go to hospital.”

Ms Chen nods, “Get what you need. We can settle up later.”

He gets tatertots, Venom pulls half heartedly towards the chocolate so Eddie get that too. Some bread and instant noodles since hopefully he’ll be able to keep that down. He gives Ms Chen’s little pharmacy section an aching look, and finally caves and gets a bundle of bandages, a tube of antiseptic cream.

**_…won’t do anything…_ **

“I know.” Eddie mumbles, “Kinda- not the point.”

If he could just- put some antiseptic cream on, apply bandages, peel on an elastoplast- it wouldn’t make everything better but it would make it _normal_. Shrink it down to something manageable. Eddie’s been in accidents before, been punched, he can take some cuts and bruises.

But these aren’t. They’re so big and open and bleeding and buried so deep inside that Eddie knows even Venom couldn’t reach them.

Venom nods against his collarbone. He knows. He’s been hurt too, and the worst physical wounds are better than feeling this. Eddie rubs his knuckles against his sternum, where Riot’s blade had torn into him. Somehow, even that had hurt less.

 ** _Yes_**.

Ms Chen’s mouth twitches again when Eddie brings their sad little haul to her counter. She nods and makes a note, and pushes a scrap of paper to Eddie. “My brother in law has a clinic.” She says flatly. “If you need help, call them.”

Eddie shakes his head, but takes it anyway. “I’ll bring the money next time.”

“I know. Go and rest, Eddie.”

 

* * *

 

They are almost crawling by the time they finally oh finally _finally_ reach their apartment. The lock is cracked open, hanging loose when they push the door open-

And Venom runs down his hand, along the door to the lock. He envelops it completely and the door shivers for a moment- then there’s a loud _clack_.

Venom pulls free, and the lock is whole again, moving smoothly. Eddie manages the first real smile he’s had since the hospital. “Thanks.”

 ** _…welcome_** …

The apartment is a mess but- it’s not as bad as it could be. Yeah, things are broken and there’s rotting food everywhere but they- they can manage. Tomorrow.

 ** _Yes_**.

They pick their way through the wreckage of the apartment to the bed. Venom laps out of him now and then, snapping half-heartedly at the scattered tatertots and chicken bones. Eddie groans and rolls them into bed- and oh _fuck_ \- bed _. His bed._ It feels- so good. So impossibly good. Eddie presses his face into the pillow and inhales the warm, familiar smell of home.

**_…our home…_ **

“Yeah,” Eddie smiles, “Our home.” He closes his eyes, reveling the feeling of having doors and windows and walls between them and the world. Safe. Safe as they could be from this nightmare.


End file.
